Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Then to now.

Hello blogger friends. 
I am so sorry I have been such a bad blogger buddy lately. 
I simply have not felt like crafting very much!! 
 Since I started my new venture with Scentsy, things have just taken off & between Agency work and Scentsy parties, I am on the road most of the time. 
No time to stop & smell the roses.....................
............................... until recently. 

You see that picture at the top, that's my daughter (standing in the pink shirt). Her name is Hannah Rayne Arnason-Smyrski and she is 11 years old. The other night she had a couple friends for a sleep over, at which point I brought out my Velata fondue and treated them (& my two boys) to some fruit dippin, smore makin', lip smackin chocolate lickin' fun. It was great. I love to see them smile. 
It has been a while since I saw my daughter smile like this! 

If you are not friends with me on facebook, you may not know that my daughter  & I had been going thru a rough time lately. 
On June 24 we found out her dad (my ex), Terry Arnason,  passed away very suddenly while out on vacation from his northern job as a Chef at Baker Lake, Nunavut.  
It was a shock to both of us. It was a shock to everyone who knew & loved him. 
I'll never forget the look on my daughter's face when I told her. 
It was the most heart wrenching feeling of my life. 

She's 11. 
And she will never see her dad again. 

I cried for days afterwards, while she went to spend time with my ex's side of the family to plan the funeral and such. I felt so alone. I felt like no one understood. I felt like no one cared. I missed my daughter. 
Obviously I was selfish too, cuz this truly was not about me. It was about looking after my daughter. 

Here is a picture of her at her dad's funeral. This to me is acceptance. 

Moments before this photo she read a poem to her dad, that she wrote herself. 
My brave girl! 
Then she laid her head on the table and tears ran down one side of her face to the other.
My poor angel. 

He dad would have done anything for her. 
He would have done anything for anyone. 
He was that type of guy. 

Below is a link to the FB  tribute his niece put together. It is his funeral service. 
There was only immediate family there. 

Below is a pic of my daughter (& my brother) planting the Lilac Bush (mentioned in the above memorial service) to commemorate her father. We planted it at my brother's cabin, because we know this will be a place we will visit for years to come. 

Since all this has happened I am more conscious of my actions & reactions. 
Let kids be kids.
Don't sweat the small stuff. 
Enjoy everyday to the max. 
Tell my kids I love them everyday. 
Spend more time cuddling. 
Spend more time laughing. 
Cuz before you know it.................it could all be gone. 
Like that! 

I am a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason". 
I was explaining this to my daughter the day of the funeral actually. 
"Tell me what you were like in highschool mom. Were you geeky?" she asked
"No, I was in the middle. I wasn't geeky, I wasn't popular, but I had friends on both sides"
"Did you have a boyfriend in highschool?" she asked
"yup, we were together for 5 years, he broke my heart & we broke up after graduation & then I went to work at my first fly-in fishing resort (as a waitress). " I answered. 
"Where?" she asked 
"Campbells Cabins in Ontario. That's where I was in the fire"  (long story about someone pouring fuel on a fire & it exploded.......myself & 5 others were injured....1 of them passed away)  
"So what happened after the fire?" she asked
"Then I went up to work at Knee Lake, where I met your father. And do u see that if I hadn't of got my heart broken & hadn't of been in that horrific fire, I wouldn't have you today. " I answered. 
We both cried. 
I have the best part of my EX in my daughter and for that I thank him everyday.


That night we went to the fair in town (July 1st celebrations). The kids rode on rides, ate cotton candy, drank slushies & we enjoyed the fireworks in the nightsky. 
The played music to the fireworks & low & behold all the music was sad songs. LOL
So there I was watching the fireworks with tears streaming down my face. 
My daughter looked at me and said "are you crying mom?" 
I nodded. 
She hugged me & said "it's ok to cry". 
Pffpt..........who's consoling who now! LOL  


I know you are probly tired of my ramblings, but if you've read nothing on here today and only skipped to this part, REMEMBER THIS. 

You are responsible for your actions. 
Do what makes you happy! 
Give the ones you love a hug today. 
Never stop believing! 


Happy Crafting! 


Becky said...

Cor, my heart goes to you and your daughter. She seems so strong, how come it's the little ones that comfort us. I'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason too, sometimes it just takes a while for you to see it
Big hugs
Becky x

Stacie (craft-princess) said...

I am so sorry for you and your daughters loss. Great post about remembering what is important in life and your right...everything does happen for a reason even though it is hard to take or see sometimes. Best wishes and sometime when you get a chance write me!

Marilyn said...

Awww, Cor.... I am so sorry. Heart wrenching for you both.

DesignerDiva said...

Goodness Cor, I'm crying now!
You and Hannah are lucky to have each other - much love flying your way
Laurie xx

angelwhispers said...

My word you two are so brave and what a beautiful relationship you have though hold on to each other and take care Cor!!!! Love and Hugs Chanelle xxx

Margreet said...

Awwww, Corry...I thought I was a 'rational' girl...but this story makes me cry....I sit here typing this with tears rolling over my cheeks...it is so true what you are writing....cherish all your beloved ones!!! Dutch hugs!
xxx Margreet

Dorte said...

Hugs to you and your brave daughter, Corry, take card,

Auntie Em said...

My sympathy goes out to you and your daughter on your loss. It is so good you can share and support each other as you deal with this together. Your daughter is so lucky to have such a great mom and you are blessed to have such a wonderful daughter.
{{{Hugs}}} to both of you.

Berry said...

Big hugs Corry, I did see some of this on FB but you have put all this into such beautiful words.
Everything does happen for a reason, to start a chain of events we are meant to be on, no regrets just keep moving forward. thanks for your inspiration and your love sweet friend
hugs rebekah xx

Craftdee said...

I feel so sad for you in the loss of this man who was so significant in your life and that of your daughter. It is lovely that, even though he no longer was part of your everyday, you can respect his memory in such a touching way. Wishing you strength and peace, Donna

Dana said...

I am so sorry for your family's loss Cor but so glad you and your daughter have each other to get through this. But I agree, it's never easy to lose your dad, but to lose him at such a young age... my heart breaks for her!

coops said...

sending every hug i have to your wonderful brave daughter and to you the best mum ever.

xx coops xx

Shelby said...

Prayers up for your daughter and all those who loved Terry. I can tell you from experience, 11 is a tough age to lose a parent and even tougher to watch your child go through the process because you can't fix it. I can also tell you she will come out of the process stronger, wiser and more compassionate.


Jenny said...

Oh Cor, what a fantastically brave daughter you have, I can just feel how proud you are of her. I am so sorry for all your families loss. Big hugs to you all, you are so right, time passes just too fast, grab it while you can. Jenny x

BrossArtAddiction said...

Oh Cor, I'm so sorry to hear about your daughters father (your ex). I completely missed this obviously on FB and only just read about it now. You are such a good mommy and you both are lucky to have each other and she a very strong mother. Such a horrible thing to go through and especially at that age. Lovely picture of your daughter, such a brave girl!

Your post was lovely and wrote very well. Your are brave too for sharing yourself and your life. Now I understand about what the tree planting was about....I miss so much on FB with my feed clogged up.

Sending loving thoughts your way and the biggest of hugs!

xx Tracey xx

Anne said...

So very, very touching reading this Cor. Your daughter is a credit to both of you - it made ME feel proud of her reading this (with very watery eyes, I must add). Give her a big hug from me, and you take care. Hugs xxx

Olivia said...

Oh my dear...what a touching account. It is never easy to lose aloved one and may we all remember to cherish the time we have with those close to us in our lives.

Linda . J said...

Cor you had me in tears,you and your daughter are so brave and what a touching account and thanks for sharing. Thinking of you and all your loved ones

Hugs Linda

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